John Wesley Dean III:

This squirrely guy was married to the hottest babe in Washington DC. America might never have had the chance to bask in the platinum beauty of Maureen Dean were it not for her husband John.

John Dean managed to accomplish much in his life prior to Watergate. He graduated with a law degree from Georgetown. He was chief counsel for the House GOP. He served as deputy US Attorney General and reached his political pinnacle as legal counsel to President Richard M. Nixon.

Don't let the geeky horn rims fool you. Dean was a player. He was involved in planning both the Watergate break-in and the coverup. When Nixon assigned somone to investigate the burglary from within his administration, he picked Dean to lead the charge. The result? No White House members were implicated.

Then a funny thing happened in February, 1973, during the confirmation hearing for FBI director appointee, L. Patrick Gray. Gray had been acting as FBI director after J. Edgar Hoover had died. Gray's FBI had officially investigated not just the Watergate break-in but the coverup as well. He too, claimed all the President's men were as pure as the driven snow. The Senate nailed him during his confirmation hearing and Grey fingered John Dean. Grey failed his nomination and Dean read the writing on the wall.

In early April 1973, Dean got his own attorney and started to cooperate with the Senate Watergate investigators. By the end of the month Nixon had fired Dean along with AG Richard Kleindienst and aides Haldeman and Erlichmann. On June 25, 1973, John Dean sat before Sam Ervin, the Senate Watergate Committee and all three televison networks and named names.

His testimony made great drama but he had a hard time dancing between the spikes of accusation and self-implication. With pretty Mo by his side Dean valiantly pled his case on the steps of the Senate in front of the press corps. He was a man with a message but no discernable proof. Fortunately Alexander Butterfield saved Dean's ass by providing Senate investigators with the most damning evidence of corruption in American history.

Dean was convicted of obstructing justice and got off with time served. He became a best-selling author even though his first book, "Blind Ambition" was written by a ghost. In 1992 Dean and Mo brought suit against G. Gordon Liddy. Liddy was quoted in a book, blaming John Dean for all of it entitled "Silent Coup". Liddy claimed that the Watergate break-in was really a mission to liberate evidence that Maureen Dean used to be a hooker. The suit was dropped and John went on to become and investment banker.

John and Mo are still married. G. Gordon Liddy is still bald and Dean recently wrote another book, blasting the Bush administration called "Worse than Watergate". I guess he would know.

Dean's present day counterpart:

Wouldn't it be a kick if it turned out to be this guy?

UPDATE: Looks like it was this guy: